The other day, I actually posted a review of the book on Amazon's website. My review read as follows:
I purchased this book back two or three titles ago, when it was still called "Astrid the Viking Vampire," and the title character's name was "Astrid."I even received at least one +1 vote for it ("1 out of 1 people think this review is helpful").
The title has changed several times - I may have missed a few, but at one point it was "Vampire Warriors (paranormal romance)" and now it's "Viking Vampires: Victory or Death."
It was ... bad. I mean really bad. The characters were flat, the story was confusing, and it went nowhere.
Amazon recommended this book to me, as I've been reading a lot of fantasy lately - especially contemporary urban fantasy. Jim Butcher. Tom Sniegoski. Seanan McGuire. Authors I recommend reading. The only thing this book has in common with them is that they're theoretically in English.
It was that bad.
The opening sentence was, "I was born and raised an 18-year-old Viking Vampire." If you can't see the error in there, please let me know so I can call an editor for you. It also included such wonderfuly-crafted sentences as, "He looked like him." There were several points in the reading of this book when my brain tried to escape.
And now Amazon keeps recommending similar books to me, as I was foolish enough to waste $3 on this one.
Of course, it had some charm despite (or perhaps because of) its sheer lack of concern for coherence, character development, and depth. And by "charm," I mean, "things I could laugh at and share with friends to laugh at."
This book has been through a couple of edits since I originally read it - from what I can tell in the sample, much of the charm is gone. Even the hilariously bad first sentence is gone. Which is a shame - it was bad, but it was bad in that MST3K sort of way. Now it's more like the Daredevil movie. There is no humor to be derived from it. It's a tragic loss, as it means that now the single most redeeming quality of this book is that it is short.
Today, the book is no longer on the site. Ms. Van Bokkem still has a significant number of books showing in the Kindle Store, however. And the book (with its latest title, Viking Vampire: Victory or Death!) is apparently still available for the Nook.
Now, there is some question as to who took it down - it's possible that Amazon noticed all the title changes, realized how confusing it would be for a consumer, and yanked it. It's also possible that Ms. Van Bokkem pulled it herself (as is her right).
In honor of the passing of this fine example of literature which will surely pass the test of time, I will henceforth rate all the books I read for this blog in milliAstrids, with one thousand milliAstrids indicating a book equal in quality to Astrid the Viking Vampire. And zero milliAstrids being something on par with George R. R. Martin or Robin Hobb.
